10 Tips for Achieving Happiness I wish I had Learned Sooner
7. Pursue your happiness, no one else will do it for you
Only you can truly know what makes you happy. The pursuit of those ends are entirely personal and no one else, no matter how well they know you, can ever truly understand this. A romantic partner is not going to give you happiness if you are incapable of experiencing it on your own. Friends do not exist to fulfill your happiness, they are people whom you exchange time with for the mutual benefit of personal enjoyment. When we are young, we expect them to be our happiness; we get upset when we are left out, we get sad when we are blown off, we feel betrayed when someone doesn’t invite us. They aren’t filling the role we want them to. As an adult we should learn that each person has their own pursuits, their own desires, and their own preferences, and that their choice to call or not call you that night is not personal, in fact it is only rational that even our best friends will want to do things without us. Some people, I find, are still stuck in a high school social mentality when it comes to their friends, romantic partners, and social interaction. If you find yourself wondering when anybody else will call or what they are doing with their day, you are not focusing enough on your day. The reason they haven’t called is most likely because they are focused on their day. People cannot make you happy, expecting them to is a prescription for disappointment and loneliness. Act as an independent, rationally self-interested individual and expect others to as well. You will find less expectations of your relationships, which really makes them much more satisfying.
